2017 Recipe Disasters.
Happy day after Christmas… aka, my annual recipe disaster post.
For the eighth year in a row, I’m showing you all the stuff that I totally failed at in 2017. Or, half of the stuff, let’s be real. There were LOTS of things, let me tell you. Why do I think I can just throw all the flavors together? Make all the things?
The first half of the year, I was photographing my next book and finishing a few recipe tests which led to TONS of major fails. The second half, I was trying to get a bunch of recipes ready for when Emilia was born and anytime I attempt to make tons and tons of recipe at once, it’s never good. So let’s get to it! Oh and…
for previous recipe disasters, see:
These horrific spirals that are supposed to resemble a version of cinnamon rolls are actually a recipe in my next book… but don’t worry, I perfected it. I swear. Don’t worry!
Because these above are pretty much the grossest things I’ve ever seen.
This is another recipe for the book and it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted: FRIED BURRATA. But, uh, the photo above? It totally looks like a chicken breast gone wrong. Right? I can never look at it the same way again.
This was a sad attempt at a burger with a lot of liquidy toppings (why?!) that made it one giant slop pile mess.
OMG omg. Could this bread BE any more dry? I mean, how disgusting is this? I attempted to make some Irish brown bread for Saint Patrick’s Day and it was a massive fail. In recipe development and in appearance. And taste. Ick.
Cringing just looking at that.
A big pot of pulled pork, noodles that are overcooked and soaked up all the tomato sauce that I attempted to make from scratch and with the wrong kind of cheese for sure.
Sounds so good, doesn’t it? Taste like nothing. No flavor. Whomp whomp.
Not even sure that I can explain this hideousness. I mean, seriously? Whyyyy.
As much of a grapefruit lover as I am, this grapefruit avocado slaw was SO awful. Like so, so disgusting, The flavor was just way too sour.
This is what most cakes I bake look like. YEP. I think I don’t have to use a recipe and then THIS happens.
Oh! Just last week I tried to make those pretzel hug things, but I used cookies and cream kisses. I couldn’t press them m&m into the top and also couldn’t even sandwich them together and they looks so embarrassingly bad. FUN.
I know that I had even more fails that then above, but these are the lucky ones that were captured on camera. Hopefully 2018 will be a little more forgiving in the kitchen!
So tell me – what was your biggest recipe fail of 2017?
41 Comments on “2017 Recipe Disasters.”
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Ha ha so funny! The amount of kitchen and cake fails I have ALL THE TIME is pretty much endless. Just from the past few weeks: massive gingerbread cookies pan crashing to the floor right from my hands after taking it out of the oven; chocolate cake that really looked good but tasted like sand (and also had that same texture too – really bad recipe testing). And there are whole lot more ;) Happy new year!
hahahahaha the cake speaks to my 2017 on a spiritual level. i tested a cake TWELVE times. (yes. TWELVE.) and still couldn’t get it right. hate cake!! xo
This recipe disaster post is such a great idea. Thanks for sharing your failures :P
Happy New Year
Joe
This is my favorite post of the year, every year. I always read it on vacation and always think, how does she even have photo footage of the fails saved? I want to burn my memory cards after the fails.
Baking/cake fails are THE WORST. So frustrating. For me, it’s muffins. If I try to wing it with a muffin recipe, you can guarantee they will sink, overflow, or explode :) Fun times.
Merry Christmas!!!! And Happy New Year!
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When my boyfriend helped me make drop biscuits = hockey pucks. He “stirred them real good.” You could have broke a tooth!
My biggest disaster was the cookies I tried to make two weeks ago. I was doing 12 other things while I worked on them and somehow missed the step where I was supposed to add flour. I kept wondering why they would not rise or cook through. Oops! Love this post!
This is amazing! Kudos to you for being able to laugh off the failures, and share them with us! Made my morning ♥
I tried making black bean soup from scratch. I followed the directions to the letter, including soaking the beans overnight. They never got soft. I swear, I could’ve donated the soup to my local public works department to use for traction in snowy, icy conditions.
How frustrating! Did you have tomatoes in them? I read somewhere that it can stop the beans from softening…?
Nope, no tomatoes in them. Not sure what I did wrong, but I threw that recipe away. (It wasn’t one of yours!)
Love this! I made chocolate peppermint cookies a few weeks ago and they turned into a solid pan of cookie. Husband said they still tasted good though!
oh my gosh. love this post. this is seriously the best. i try to make my husband understand that we all have fails! everything that i make is not going to be a hit! i am so going to show him this!
i would have to say my worst fail this year was when i made a lemon yogurt bread, and totally forgot the yogurt!! the consistency was waaaaaaay off haha.
That bread looks anemic!
If we didn’t make mistakes, how would we learn?
I think I overbaked some muffins, my husband and I were having a heavy conversation upstairs and I forgot them. I forget to set the timer sometimes.
I look forward to this post every year! I just listened to your podcast with PALEOMG (late, I know) this afternoon, and it reminded me of this series.
I KNOW I had some cookie dough that I froze this year, baked from frozen, and that totally pancaked out. Can you say flat cookies? I also have my share of cookies come out of the oven only to fall through the cooling rack. *fail.* I hate it when that happens!
I just had one last week! Tried to soak my own dried beans which didn’t work, thought they would finish cooking in a one-pot noodle chili, and they were still hard when we ate it. And the flavoring was all off. Ick.
Thank you for sharing these, it’s reassuring knowing even the best have some flops!!
Not enough fails
Always love the honesty and humor behind these posts!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2018!!!
USB flash drives
Always reassuring to see that I’m not the only one with epic kitchen fails. Last week I tried to doctor up a boxed mix of GF brownies and whoa… GF recipes should apparently not be messed with. Had to throw them right in the garbage :/
My favorite recipe fail of all time is still when I was about 9 yrs old, it was raining at the lake so my mom let me and my younger siblings make brownies. We didn’t have any eggs, so I used syrup instead because, “it’s about the same consistency” and I was 9. Didn’t tell my mom until they were out of the oven. Unsurprisingly, they did not bake well, however, the gloppy gooey mess was still delicious.
The pretzel kisses are such a pain!! They look so cute when they turn out right, but for me, the kisses are either melted too much or not enough. I made them on Christmas Eve and when I closed the lid on the container, all the kisses popped off the pretzels! All I could do was laugh. The next day my husband said the kiss/m&m candies I made were great! (Laughing/crying emoji face)
I’m so glad it’s not just me! Whenever I try to bake too many things at once, they all come out mediocre at best. One year I left the eggs out of a cheesecake. I didn’t even remember until I was trying to figure out why the cheesecake didn’t have its normal look after it had baked! It still turned out delicious. We called it mistake cheesecake! LOL
This is so funny! I’m glad to see that everyone has fails too. My worst one was white chocolate brownies. They were disgusting, totally sunk in the middle and not edible. Glad I don’t have a photo!
Ummmm, these all look like the food I prepare! Every time! Lol.
It must have just been this year or maybe the month. I too had horrible luck when trying to make pavlova for Christmas dessert for my in laws! The first batch did not whip up at all, there went 6 eggs…lol… then I tried my hand at cheese dip and burned it…do you have any idea what Velveeta cheese smells like burning…ugh! Then we got to the party and my mother in law had tried to make a fruit salad …5 cup fruit salad I believe is the name… she started with melting the marshmallows in the cream cheese. Got that accomplished and decided to put it in the fridge to cool. Came back to it and it was hard as a brick. Needless to say she had mixed up the ingredients and it was supposed to be sour cream instead of the cream cheese… Oh well , It’s what makes the memories of Christmas so wonderful!!!
I always love these because it reminds me that even the pros have failures. I have them every so often too. Thanks for sharing! One of my favorite posts of the year!
We make a birthday cake for Jesus on Christmas. I made a beautiful two layer vanilla cake, as I was transferring it from the counter to the table, I dropped it! OMG!!!! It flipped right out of my hands, I picked it up, scraped off he frosting- re frosted it and we ate it anyway.
#wedontwastefood
#happybirthdayjesus
I literally look forward to this post every year.
My biggest 2017 cooking failure was probably a goat cheese acorn squash quiche that I was really looking forward to. I don’t know why, but the roasted squash produced a crap ton of water while the quiche was in the oven, and when I pulled it out there was an actual lake in the middle of my quiche.
A close second would be the pumpkin cookies I baked for work in a hurry, putting them in a Tupperware before they were completely cool. Condensation built up on my long drive to work, and by the time I got there the cookies were a wet, soggy mess.
I basically should just give up on gourds forever.
We’ve been on a doctor-mandated diet: gluten, dairy, sugar, soy, corn, potato, carrot, fruit, and peanut-free. (Yes, we pretty much exist on sadness and tears.) I got the brilliant idea to make mac and cheese using gluten free flour, almond milk, almond cheese, and brown rice pasta. The recipe I was working off of made a ton and there were only two of us eating it, so I halved the recipe. Only I’m really bad at math and accidentally halved everything except the flour. The stuff turned out so thick and gummy. I’m fairly certain it was akin to eating wallpaper paste. I hate to waste food but I had to throw it out. Worst food fail I’ve had in years.
This is so funny! I’m glad to see that everyone has fails too. My worst one was white chocolate brownies. They were disgusting, totally sunk in the middle and not edible. Glad I don’t have a photo!
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